.Sunday, December 16, 2012 ' 12/16/2012 07:39:00 PM Y
day happened to be shine-d by stars...
Lost dairy chpt 411:
Sometimes, there's so many things in my mind.
Yet, I can't form them into words and express them out.
Sometimes, you know that there's something wrong in btw,
Yet, there's nth much you can do.
Sometimes, you know that you've done wrong,
Yet, you don't know how to apologize to the other party.
.Wednesday, September 19, 2012 ' 9/19/2012 08:21:00 PM Y
day happened to be shine-d by stars...
Lost dairy chpt 410:
Life sucks......
Shit happens.....
Life still goes on......
Just need some one to prove to me that I'm still living in reality......
Just need Some one......
.Thursday, August 02, 2012 ' 8/02/2012 12:17:00 AM Y
day happened to be shine-d by stars...
lost dairy chpt 409:
hmmmm....
lots of things happen within this few months...
grandpa pass away....
quit my job....
grandma went for surgery....
went to korea....
slacking ard....
and getting back to school...
went back to hitachi and had a small talk with Cilia.
she told me that she's quite worried about her dad...
because most of her elders has pass away...
and these reminds me of my grandpa
life is filled with regrets....
i keep wondering why am i so stubborn??
i used to dream to study overseas...
wanted to try a different life outside singapore...
but because of grandpa, i've decided to give up this dream...
actually, i've decided before last yr admission...
but i still hope that there's a change...
maybe someone in the family will suddenly realized that actually going out there...
learn new stuffs is also a experience...and it will add colors to my life...
that's why, i didn't submit the application last yr...
just 1yr...everything changed...
grandpa's health getting bad to worse...
and the only thing that he remember is that i need to go to uni...
even the days whereby he couldn't differentiate who is who...
he will keep reminding my mum "siyi, must go and study uni."
at that moment, i realized that i'm so selfish....
because of my own "want", i couldn't let my grandpa "see" me getting into uni...
something that will make him feel proud of...
something that will brighten his day...
one week before he pass away,
he asked my mum to call everyone of us to go down his hse...he got smth to say...
all of us took leave and went to his hse...
everyone goes into the room..kneeling beside him...
listen carefully to what he's trying to let us know...
he told me that the only thing he wants from me is to get into local uni...
that's the only time whereby his mind is clear, knowing who is who...
the next day, i stayed at home to work in order look after my grandpa since most of the adults have to work...
when i'm cutting his mustache, he keeps smiling at me...
and all i could do for him is to smile back and keep telling him jokes...
after that day, grandpa has no energy to talk to us anymore....
on the night that he pass away,
he waited for everyone to get back from work...
seen everyone of us...
and he left...
i hope that he leave without regrets...
the letter of acceptance letter from NTU came on the day of ting's wedding...
after reading the letter, i went to grandpa hse straight away to let the elders know abt it...
before the wedding ceremony starts, grandma brings me around and boost to other ppl that NTU accepted me and i'm going to study in NTU...
looking at her happy and contented face...
i wonder how would it be like if grandpa is still alive...
will he have the energy to walk around and boost this small things to other ppl??
if only i'm not that selfish...only think about myself...
things may be totally different from now...
so ppl, we shall think properly before we make any decision...
there's no replay button in life...
differentiate what are the "needs" and "wants" in life...
.Sunday, January 29, 2012 ' 1/29/2012 01:15:00 PM Y
day happened to be shine-d by stars...
lost dairy chpt 408:
have been busy with work..the busy i mean...
is really super busy. sometimes, i dont even have time to rest.
life totally sucks....
if only life can be......
you say that i'm still the same...
as hardworking as usual...
but in the first place...
i'm nvr hardworking...
have you ever understand me??
things that i do is not because i'm hardworking...
just that i know what are the things that i should do...
anyway,
getting old le...
yesterday girl bought a back rester.
den i sat on it.
after standing up i can totally feel the pain from my back...
cause when the pain is there for very long,
you'll get used to the pain. and it actually dont really brings any harm to my back..
but den...
because the back rester is meant to relieve your back pain...
so, when i get up..i totally dont feel like moving..
cause i when i move i can feel the pain...
haiz...
really old le....
life just sucks yea?
.Monday, December 19, 2011 ' 12/19/2011 10:01:00 AM Y
day happened to be shine-d by stars...
lost dairy chpt 407:
like what i've always say.
life is never wonderful...
everyone have their own problem...
some choose to show it out,
some choose to say it out,
some choose to keep within themselves.
and some....choose to remember only the good stuffs in their life...
for the 1st one and 2nd one, ppl will label them as "attracting attention".
for the 3rd one, ppl will label them as " unwilling to share"
and for the the last one, ppl will just think that, "your life is wonderful already, what are you not happy with??"
have you ever encounter these types of ppl?
i guess, the 1st and 2nd are more common..
someitmes, i just thought that, maybe they need a way to let themselves out...
since, everyone's stress thereshold is different...
and i also realize that, as we grow up...we tend to be cynical....
isn't it?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
oh wells...
it's coming to the end of 2011..
and guess what??
sometimes, i really hope that 20121221 do exist...
haha...
anyway, matt is coming back!!!
hahahaha...actually i feel quite guilty for not meeting him previously before he left to aust...
that time was busy with LPA performance...
alomost everyday have to stay in school till midnight...
even on that day of his departure...
i didnt go and see him off...
only send him a text message...
now he's coming back for a few weeks...
i hope i can get to meet him..haha...
if not..i'll be super duper guilty!
anyway, have been working for almost a month...
everyday have to do the boring job...
really sian ttm...
what can i say??
life suck ttm...
HAHAHAHAAHAH
.Saturday, November 26, 2011 ' 11/26/2011 09:58:00 PM Y
day happened to be shine-d by stars...
lost dairy chpt 406:
人生的意义是什么？
为什么当你快乐的在享受快乐的时候，
噩耗会降临。
为什么老天爷给予的幸福，
那么容易就被收回？
不知道为什么会想起 陳綺貞 - 旅行的意義。
.Monday, October 31, 2011 ' 10/31/2011 11:39:00 AM Y
day happened to be shine-d by stars...
lost dairy chpt 405:
舍得舍得，不舍不得。。。
in the midst of looking for my "path"....
i cant remember if i've mention that i went to look for this so call "fortune teller"...
haha... superstitious? i have no idea at all...
but what i know is that...
whatever she say about my cousins and sister are all so accurate...
only mine....is not accurate at all....
haha..maybe it's just the decision that i've made at every moment...
with different decision you've made, you'll be able to receive different outcome...
that's what i always believe...
but sometimes, decision aren't so easily made...
to make a choice between "give up" or "i believe that i can do it. i just have to go through this. challenge accepted."
do you have this kind of pressure??
things will come out differently if you push yourself to the max.
however, there are times whereby i just want to slack at one corner.
give up and unwilling to put in more effort...
and whenever this thought comes in...
another thought will follow...
"how can i give up so easily? without putting in any effort?? i'm a loser if i did that"
denial in progress...
and...i'm stuck...
no improvement....nothing i can do....
unless i get myself out of this thinking process...
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