lost dairy chpt 369:

have not been myself recently..
duno why...
tend to get irritated easily...
tend to get angry over small thing...
cant focus well in class...
letting my emotions control me...

yesterday quarreled with my dad...
today went to school to avoid seeing him...

i know it's not right...
but den...if u're in my shoes...
maybe...u guys will be worse...
HAHA..seriously...
i duno...
no matter what my dad do...it irritates me...
maybe somewhere deep inside my heart...
there's this memory that is sealed by myself...
i don't know what exactly happen...
argh...
duno how to put in words....



i've been thinking of a qn recently...
passion...in other words...dream...
is that really important??
because..to me...
i sort of accept what people say and close my dream inside my heart...
maybe to me..it's not important compared to other people...
what i want is just peace..
i don't want people start arguing and make things difficult for each other...
that's why i choose to give up...
once i give up..
i would not want to go back...
tt's why, when ppl ask me...
will u want to do it again??
my ans would be NO...
so what if i say yes??
neither you or me can change anything...

sometimes, to have a decision made,
u have to know what's the 1st place in ur heart and in the reality world...
passion is important...
but, in the end, what u'll have might not ur passion...

lost dairy chpt 368:

well~
i nw super stress up...
i got a very cute teacher..
yesterday told us that tmr there's quiz...
every1 is like what the?

i think i'll be dead at the end of the week...
so many things need to be done...
i gt 2 lab test next week on the same day...
den...photography submission next week..
i still don't know what's my theme...

haiz...
totally have no mood...
what life is this??

haiz...
i have a super bad feeling abt my STM results..
i failed my 2nd paper..
7 failures in the class...
HAHA!
i tink..i'm one of them~
that stupid pig...

haiz...
seeing ppl who i don't like...
i guess...
the only way that will make my life easier is to forget...
but den...easy said den done...
=(

lost dairy chpt 367:



in life, there's a lot of things that we need to decide..
and to choose the path that we think is right...

but den...
here comes the question...
what's the defination of right??

everyone have different kinds of defination...
that's the reason why...
i usually don't give too much comments..

to say or not to say...
is a difficult question..
if to ask my opinion...
saying the truth...cant help much...
if not saying can let grandpa stay happy..
i think it'll be better...
like what my mum say...
saying the truth...
my grandpa will not b as happy as now..
what matter to us is that he can stay as happy as possible...

if there's a choice..i want my grandpa to stay as long as possible and be happy everyday..
but seems that...life is like this...
you cant change the fact...

lost dairy chpt 366:

i'm so scared...
i have no idea why..
when i saw u..
i was like..shit...
den my heart start beating faster and faster...haha..
is not him...
is another person...
maybe it's because...
since graduation, have nvr meet up...
den some more..only chat on msn some times...
i hope that i'm invisible at that moment...
but i guess...didn't see me bah...
phew...

i was walking to piano lesson...
walking past the places i used to hang around...
jus 1 yr...
everything change so much...
feel sad suddenly...
because..what is left now...
is only memories...

yea...

and was chatting with kitty just now...
suddenly felt that...
god just simply don't like me...
' it's very rare that people have it on their arm..and it is more rare for people to have it on their legs'
when the doctor told me this...
the only thing is in my mind i rmb clearly is 'thanks ar...i'm so 'blessed'...'

den now with the virus wart on my hand...
have to go for treatment everytime it grow back...
'it cant be cure..'.
that's what the doc say..'it will stay inside ur body...what u can do is to build up ur immune system'
at the very next moment, what comes to my mind is that 'whao...welcome and join the unfortunate gang'...

for my skin...what can i do??
it cant be helped..
that's why i stopped applying medicine...
for my virus wart...just leave it...
i cant do anything...

what i can say is that...
'thanks to god...'blessing' me with all this stuff...'
maybe without all these things...
i may be a different person...

i rmb clearly what happen...
tt's why i change...

change to a person that i hope ppl would accept...
but somehow, god don't think i'm right...
punish me with all this things....

i'm not being negative...
i'm just stating the 'truth'...

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but we often look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us"
-Helen Keller

i'm now starring at the closed door...

lost dairy chpt 365:


went for my nitrogen spray...
get used to the pain...
actually, the pain nw is bearable...

hmm...yesterday went to palm asia...
yea...slack week..
bt den..when i see my organiser,
WHAO!!!so many things to do...

photography outing...
projects,projects and projects...
quiz...
prac...
test...
haiz...

sian...
was reading some1's blog...
ya...is urs...haha...
dun doubt it...
worried is the only word...

to 'whom it may conern'(haha):
although you didn't hurt urself,
bt when u have the thought which makes me worried...
take care of urself...no matter wad...

thanks to frec...
i REALLY WANT TO WATCH THREADS OF DESTINY!!!!


pics that i've taken...

justice...

'the forgotten'

class photo took by mr lau...

smile...

it's a great day...afterall...


sometimes...i wonder why...
e moment i made the decision..
i'm very sure that my decision is correct...
after many yrs...
i regret it..or shld i say...after a few days??
haha...
anyway...it's over..yea??
keep on using this to comfort myself..
bt seems to be useless...
the more i wanna comfort myself..
the more i'll feel miserable...
ice-cream cant help me..
haiz...
how can i get rid if this feeling???

lost dairy chpt 364:

hmmm...
gt nth better to do.
so...LET'S BLOG!!
haha...

sometimes, friendship can be very strong..
and it can b very weak...
ppl that are used to be good friends...
they seems to hate each other or dun wanna talk to each other...


story 1:
i rmb i've mention 2 friend of mine...let's name them f1&f2
used to be 'brothers'...
helping each other..
and suddenly, they just stop talking...
once i mention the other, they seems to don't want to cont the topic...
as a friend...wad can i do right??
since, they dun wanna say anything..
den wait till next time,when they wanna say den say bah...

bt den...nw i know the reason...
i sort of heard stories from both side...
f1 is clear with his stand..
f2,just trying to give me a stupid ans and change topic...
from the clearer version..
what i tink that, although both is in wrong...
is just that f2 reacted overly...

somehow deep inside my heart...
i'm bias...since i know f1 earlier...
i believe in him...
and now, when i think back,
seems that..i'm not being fair to f2...
but den...since he don't want to talk, i got nothing to believe him...
at least f1 have ppl to proof for him...
bt f2 have nth..only left negative comments...

feel very sad...for both of them...
just because a incident...
they choose to drift apart...
no matter whose fault it is...
best friends are friends who accept who u are...
so, treasure your friends...

story 2:
i've mention this 2 friend also...
let's call them...hmm...b1&b2...HAHA...
b1&b2 used to hate each other because of some reason(which i find it stupid)....
but den, after they're in the same class...
they've become very good friends...
sitting together...
looking for job together..
going everywhere together...

suddenly one day, i realise they drift appart...
they no longer sit together during assembly...
they also no longer sit together in class...
b1 start to hang out with some other guy in their class..
and b2 cont hang out with the same grp of ppl..
same...whenever i ask..
they just wun tell me the real reason..
until...one day...
b1 told me that it's his fault...
bt wun tell me why...
den...because i'm who i am...
i went to ask b2...
b2 told me the story...
ok...what can i say??
this time round...is another stupid incident...

2 story...
f1&f2 find faults on each other and stop contacting...
b1 know he's wrong...
b2 already forgive him(i guess)...
both just dun wan to contact each other...

maybe is because that...
they think that after going poly...
they will find new friends and make new best friend..
maybe better one...
i duno...
and i dun have a stand to say anything...
because i have the same problem...

although knowing what's the problem is...
i choose to ignore it...
what inspire me to write all this shit...
partially is because lesson is boring...
another 1 is...because...
i was looking through my secondary school pics with mr friends...

have many flash back..
good one, bad one...
it just make me remember many things..
what i've gone through and who went through all the stuffs with me...
who are there for me when i need them...
who will be there when i'm sad...sad until i cry...
who are there with me when i'm not feeling well...
who tires their best to make me smile again when i cry....

i'm reading message that i've saved in my hp...
it says that...
people who laugh when u're sad...is ur enemy...
ppl who laugh when u're happy is ur friend...
ppl who tires their best to make u smile again is ur good friends...
ppl who cry with u when u're sad are ur good friends...
i'm happy that i have so many good and best friends...
that's why, i love my friends...
and i don't wish to see them quarrel...
including f1,f2,b1&b2...
i treasure the friendship with the 4 of them...
bt den, if like this makes them happy and comfortable...
i have nth to say...
as long as they dun regret...

lost dairy chpt 363:

haiz...
super sian...
duno why dun have mood...

next week...haiz....
need to see that pig again...
ok..nvm...2 more lesson left..i hope...
she dun anyhow anyhow...

haiz....
next week going palm asia...
den still got camp in the weekend...
haiz...lazy bt feel like going...
if is at loft...i guess, wun tt sian le bah....

7 days a week...
4days taken away...
haiz...

next next week gt 2 presentation...
argh!!!!
start to hate school....
sian.....

lost dairy chpt 362:

whao...today is a tiring day...

have photography lesson in the morn...
den went to KAP for lunch...
same thing...gossip...HAHA...
den went to the duno where with fiona and erza...haha...

den went to outram...
walk to china town to do survey on toy factory...
den after tt...walk to raffles place...haha...
to save $$..LOL

den went to e-hub..
went there to have dinner with gl and nelson...
idiot..
they forever de leh..
keep on saying me stupid...
sad sia...
haha...but at the same time...
is gd to talk to them...although they everytime bully me...

and nelson forever...
everytime bully me..
no matter how bad mood he is..
after bully me...he'll be so happy...
idiot....
come tt time face black like wad...
after i ask him wad happen...
den start to bully me le...
idiot...haha....
bt den...i dun mind....
as long as my friends are happy...is okay~
still force me to eat the chicken when i having gastric...
but den,i know wad he really meant...
so...i tried my best to eat that chicken...
and halfway...i give up...haha...

6yrs of friendship...
suddenly,we are like...whao...so long le...
haha...den i keep on say 'eh...i know u for 6 yrs...dun bluf me la...tell me the truth' to gl..
haha...he den tell me the truth le...

just like what i used to say....
if u treat that person as ur fren...
u wun get angry with them...
u wun mind if they're late...
so..today i enjoy my day...

one group of ppl say i'm evil,silent killer and BADASS!!!haha...
bt den, another grp of people thinks i'm stupid and easy to bully...
so, i wonder, which is me???

but den, once again...
i'm tired!!!!
sleepy...

oh ya...
i'm so depressed!!!
with the stupid thing on my hand,
with the pictures i take...
find myself so useless...
haiz...
emo!!!
after seeing other ppl's pic and also SOME1'S photo..
i depress times 2...

lost dairy chpt 361:

ok...this week sux...
totally...

like wad my previous post say..i'm so totally pissed off with the pig...
which is my STM teacher...
irritating...
i'm so glad and happy that next week i dun have to see her...
i dun care anymore...
if she so bo liao till she happen to pass by and read this blog...
let me tell u...
I DUN CARE ABOUT UR MODULE AT ALL!!!
anyway..is jus a elective that wun affect my GPA...
so, i dun BOTHER!!!!

yea...den unlucky day...
that day blk 23 lift spoil...
we climb the stairs from 1st floor to 6th!!!
idiot..

yst went for my 2nd treatment..
seriously...DO I HAVE TO TEACH U HOW TO PUT A PLASTER ON UR PATIENT'S FINGER?
SERIOUSLY I THINK U HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO TAKE OUT THE PLASTER!

ok...it goes like this...
i gt 2 virus wart on my finger,,
1 big 1 small...
e big 1 they should use the spraying machine...(is nt like how u spray ur perfume to ur body..is like...spraying the pesticide to the drain...that kind of force)
e small 1 should use the stick to 'force' the nitrogen to my finger...
den this stupid nurse...
use the stick for both big and small...
which means...the pain for the big 1 is double the small 1...
idiot...
everything is okay to me..but he said something that make me feel irritated..
he said"wha...ur tolerance quite good ar"
-_-
1st...what reaction u want me give u??shout out??cry out??
2nd..is none of ur business anyway..dun need to care so much...BLEH!

den when he help me bandage my wound...
he like duno how to open the plaster like that...
den make my finger so pain...the numb pain plus the force he gave...
feel like asking him to stop...i'll do the bandage myself...
idiot...
den my 2nd finger..he say dun need plaster!
i asked him twice if he's sure that i dun need plaster...
and he said yes..
when i reach home...
i found the wound is have blood inside...
ltr gt infection i kill him...
HAHA...

den went to AMK to wait for sinee they all to reach..
walk ard and gossip with kitty...
den after that...we went to sinee hse for STEAMBOAT!!!!
haha...started to eat ard 8.50..
cz is we're waiting for jiayi..
den in the end...jiayi came at 10...
haha...bt den we left lots of food for her...
her plate is filled with food...
oh ya...
we went there to celebrate yan's bd...haha...

AND THANKS TO LIM WI CEHN...
actually today going to celebrate gl's bd...
because of him forget to tell gl...
we cancel it...
WI CHEN...u be careful..
me and kitty will kill u!!!
haha...BEWARE!!!
LOL...

anyway...
HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY TO TAN YAN JUN!!!(4th July)
HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY TO TAN GUAN LEONG!!!(5th July)

lost dairy chpt 360:

I'M SO ANGRY WITH THAT IRRITATING,IDIOTIC,SICKENING,UGLY AND FAT PIG!!!!!

pissed off..

Peilin

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