LOSt DAiRy chpT 36:


haiz...nth to do...just feel like blogging...cause nth to liao...lol...waiting for wei xiao pasta to load finish...recomand another song...卓文萱—可以不可以...lol...nw adays listening to her song...veri nice...today's bus journey is veri long...duno why...maybe thinking of something...tt's why i tinks tt the bus journey is long...hai..thinking lots of "stupid" things...n of coz...tinking abt my previous blog...hai...maybe it's really veri hard for ani1 like mi to understand...bt i also believe tt..sooner or later...i will know wad to do...the thing tt i need nw is time n peace...tt's y nw adays veri easy to lose my temper...sorri to all those ppl tt i have vent my anger on...i think...i really need time to sort up my thinking...maybe im still me...bt this me is beyond my control...i need time to find a new way to control..bcoz nw...im immune to the way im controling myself...si just like virus...when they get used to the medication..they will get stronger...n at the end...we have to use double medication to control the virus..nw...as wad i have say long way b4...i have lose control over things srd mi...everything just went wrong...i need double of my strength to control everything ard mi...bt right nw...im just too tired to all this things..i have been asking too much nowadays...n tt's why i have been to tired...maybe going out for a trip is nt a bad idea overall...i can relax myself somewhere out there...bt there will be sure some unhappines de...it will always be there...n make mi regret going out...hai...it's such a long way for mi to walk until here...peace is the onli ting i want nw...i dun wan ani quarrel ard mi...even i hear aniting...i will still treat it as i never hear aniting...n...i still need to save up my energy until for 21 dec-22dec..coz this two days i will sure be dead if i have nt enough energy to handle those little monster...they are still so immature...so...to handle with all this immature guys....i have to use some immature ways...oh...god blessed mi...wish i can survive until tt day...cause i scared if i have not enough energy to fight with them...i will end up in the hospital n i have to spend my christmas in the pathetic hospital...hai...i really i can save all my energy up all the way down the road...n hope tt i can find a way out to control things ard mi n also make myself more happier...as...i cant possibly be unhappy de wad...am i right??if i never smile a whole 1 hr...ppl will come n ask mi wad happen to mi...so??y cant i jus dun smile a few days...faking up every single smile is a tiring job too...smile to those ppl who u dun wish to smile at is a tiring job...when u dun feel like smiling,bt u still have to fake up a smile to please others i much more tiring too...i just feel like banging my head to the wall...n hopefully...i can go on coma...n best stilll...guess wad??lost all my memory...start a new life...without ani1 reminding mi wad happen to mi "last" time...n i need not to go through the feelings n every shitting things tt come across mi...going through all this things are make mi so fake...n i hate myself for everything...if i have not taken tt step or i have take the other step...maybe..now...i will have lead a happy life...as my environment will be changed...all this shitting stuffs will not come across mi...n i can be still be mi...the person that smile from her bottome of her heart...smile happily....and when exactly is the time...i have lost count of the years pass...lol...say until im so old...haha...haiz...im so damn tired...n i cant have the time to rest...i have so much hw piled up...n my holiday last 1 week...so actually there's 2mth of holi...bt minus the time take back to school for EC, n holiday...i left 4 weeks to do finish all those stupid hw...HELP!!!!can ani1 jus help mi??

Peilin

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