lost dairy chpt 346:

got this feeling suddenly...
reading through friends blog...
i'm so happy for them when i see that they're living well...
with their love ones..
bt..when i read that...friends are disappointed or sad with stuffs...
somehow...
i feel so sad...for them or wad??i have no idea...
maybe i know how it feels bah...
is just nt a good feeling...
no matter is abt death or wad...
haiz...
gan chu liang duo...
an it's the last day of 2009..
somehow...
i miss my secondary school life...
whereby everyone is together...
playing...
cracking jokes...
sayingsome sarcastic stuffs to each other...
standing outside the corridor...
bt nw..
is so difficult to meet everyone up...
haha...
and slowly...time drifts us apart...
so...at this very day...the last day of 2009...
catch up with ur friends...
dun let time drift you guys apart..xD

lost dairy chpt 345:

have been busy this holiday...
finish my recording project..
meet up with some friends..
help up with some exhitbition stuff...
ok...actually is really very little...
haha..cause really very busy...
grandpa is admitted into hospital again..
so..have to go hospital everyday to accompany him...

actually...during this holiday...
i've realize something...
there are some people that i'll hate forever...
bt..there's still people that i'm still able to forgive...
thanks to someone...haha...
that person enlighten me some stuffs that i've totally forgotten...
forgive and forget...
that's what i use to say and i've now forgotten how to do it....
from now on...
i'll try my very best to be the person that i used to be...
forget wad ppl do to me...forgive them...
and..that's wad i'm doing now...
trying my best to amend the friendship...
everyone's perspective is different...
i cant change anyone's thinking...
the only thing that i can change is myself...
maybe some ppl may think tt i'm different nw..
bt the only different i want ppl to think is that...
i'm better than who i was...
no matter is 6yrs ago or even this few months...
everyone change due to certain things...
bt i'm still a friend that will support wad ever decision u make...
that's wad friends are for...

my dad used to tell me this "friends you can have as many as you want, but true friends you'll only need a few...a few that understands u well..know wad to do when u're down...and will always be there for you"

i've always think that this sentence is redundant...
bt nw...i really agree with it...
no matter how many friends you have in ur phonebook,facebook or friendster...
if there's no1 you can talk to or no1 to be there with you when u needed someone to be there...
den...everything is just fake...
is just a show to let ppl know that u're living well...
you got alot of 'friends'
so wad?!
is there anyone that is really there for you??
think properly...

i'm so going to get out of this game...
is useless and childish...
you want play??
play all you want...
i'm not going to tag along anymore...
cause i dun hate you anymore...
and i dun need to prove anything to you anymore...

lost dairy chpt 344:

i've cut my hair...HAHA!!!short....

so sick n tired of the past...
since everything is getting new here..
so i might as well go and cut my hair...
haha...have a new start...=)

know wad??
the feeling nw is...mixed...
i'm so happy that exams are over...
happy that is having break right nw..whereby i can relax and meet and catch up with some friends...
but i'm not that happy...
duno how to say...
is not abt the marks for my paper...
haiz....
just duno wad to say...
i'm so 'mixed' nw...
sad=(

i'm so going to faint...
have a very bad feeling abt it...

lost dairy chpt 343:

friends or family..
my sis everytime says that, i care for my friends more den i care for my family...
i cant deny it...it's true...

but recently...
i realise that i'm wrong...
totally wrong..
friends can betray you...
friends can act one side infront of u...and another side behind ur back...
bt family wun...

i know that i wrong..and wanted to change so badly...
trying very hard to change...
bt..it seems useless...
they didn't see anything...

that moment...
i really don't know why should i stay here...
that moment...
i really want to leave...
bt where can i go??
go to that "place" that i've thought for so long??
everything is so useless...

my life is such a failure...
the saddest part is that...
no matter how much you've helped others...
you cant find anyone there for you...
maybe it's my fault..
i cant really open my heart to everyone...
i'm seriously so lost right nw..
what i wanna do is just.....

lost dairy chpt 342:

haiz....
i totally have no mood for tomorrow's test...thu and fri's test...
totally have no interest..
recently have been seeing flo asking herself wad she's going to do after poly...
same qn stuck to my mind too...

somehow...
i find that i'm nt suitable in this course..
it may be fun in other ppl's view...
bt at least to me, i dun find it fun at all
learning things that are not interesting at all kills my brain cell..
tmr there's this PC networking quiz...
from the 1st week...i've nvr listen to wad the lecturer is talking abt...
nw..looking at the notes...
i know i'm wrong..
i should have listen...=(

reading through my friends blog...
seems like everyone have their own trouble yea??
haha...
mainly because of studies???
haha....

oh ya...
yesterday went out to with grace to celebrate my birthday...
haha...
it's fun..
going round the duno wad hill...
haha....
went to the duno wad hill to eat ben's and jerry ice cream...
haha...
yummy!!!
before that we still went to eat mahattan fish market...
haha...
so sinful!!!eat too much...
and the HEARTLESS lct...
nw i wherever i see curry...
it reminds me of him...
curry more impt than me...HAHA...
you gd!!!
haha...anyway...going to meet up with matt tmr..
and...i guess i'll be late!!!
bt who cares??
he's always late...
and i'm always the one who waits for him...
so..i dun care..
must have my revenge before he go NS...
haha
lalalalalalalalalalal

i dun wanna study PCN~~~~

和你一起走过最不快乐的时光的人，才是真正的朋友，。
不管他有多讨人厌！
你还是会和他做永远的朋友。。＝）
最好的例子？
matthew tong...haha...
虽然有时很讨人厌，但，永远会是我的朋友。。。
亲爱的朋友们，我爱你！
但，我也学到， 那些没有真心和你交朋友的人。。
不要把他们看的太重！
不值得！

lost dairy chpt 341:

i'm so depressed nw!!!
shit...
i'm so hate moving house so much!!!
freak...

and...i'm sorry to misunderstand u...
u're not blind at all...
bt wad's e point of doing all these nw??
haiz...e only thing tt i'm right is...
i dun understand u tt much as i though i am...
and, you dun understand me tt well too...
it's useless...
please dun do anything to disturb my life..

lost dairy chpt 340:

hehe=D
finally 18...
like wad hjw say...
i can do alot of things...haha!

of course i must thanks all those who wish me happy birthday...
THANKS=))
most of all...
of course is my sis la...1st one to wish me...
haha...den still pull my hair...-_-

den..i didn't expect nelson to wish me so 'early'..which is like midnight like tt...
haha...cause his birthday i didn't wish him tt early...
thanks you...haha...shall meet up to eat again...

and....CINDY!!!
haha...although she didn't called me...cause she fell asleep while waiting...haha...
bt she still manage to msg me...haha...LOVE YOU!!!

haha..
so funny...
today the most unexpected wish is from khairul...
haha...
he give me that 'innocent' look...den ask me today my birthday isit?
haha....den i was stunt...den i say ya...
den he smile and wish me happy birthday...HAHA....
so funny...bt i appreciate it...haha..

and lastly...fiona...
thanks for helping me to tell everyone that today is my birthday...
make me so ps...
haha...bt i know she's hao xin...
i appreciate it also...haha...

sick and tests...cant go out and celebrate...
18th birthday is nt fun at all...haha...
study study...
study till i die..haha..
must get well soon...cause fri going out...=D

like wad i expected...
although is expected,
although 'i' don't hope anything...
but some part of me...wanted so badly...
and maybe that's e reason for me being disappointed...
you know the feeling??
hoping that u'll be there bt u never were....
knowing that u know everything...
yet, u did nt make any effort to do anything...
i've known u for like 5yrs...and nth have change...
sometimes, i regretted knowing you...
i duno how to explain the feeling..
today, i've been asking myself the same question over and over again...
and maybe..i just don't seem to understand you that well...
can you don't understand me at all...
somehow..i think that...e decision i've made..
maybe right...
staying far away from you...maybe right too...
i just hope that..in the future...i dun have to see u again...
at least nt nw...i don't want to regret saying all these again...

lost dairy chpt 389:

phew..
today's test..still okay~..
bt my temper...hmmm...
not that gd~...

haha...why??
wad can i say??
last time i still can tolerate all the stupid face and irritating comments...
bt...today..i really feel like slapping him...
dun like me??i dun care...i also dun like you...BLEH!!!!
haha...sounds childish...
bt den...tt's wad my OS when i'm walking out of blk23 with gina...
haha...
wondering who's tt stupid guy that make me angry??
DUN TELL U...BLEH=P

haha...omg...
i'm also very childish today...
haha...
florence can prove it...
cause today keep on di siao her...haha..

i have been wondering the same question for the past few months...
to me, at least is still long...there's still hope...
i still can dream abt it...
bt, this few weeks...i realise that...
nothing have change at all...
all the hopes are just lies...
all the dream that i dream about is just wishful thinking..

haha...so funny...
i told people not to lose faith and hope...
nw...i blogging abt me losing my faith...
or maybe it's because this 'faith' dosen't really exist in my life...
ok...at least not between us...
is not like having faith and hope...
u'll know wad i'm thinking...
ok...u used to know...
bt nt nw..

whatever is the only word inside my brain...
ATE test tmr??whatever~
PCN test next week??WHATEVER~
MMP test next week??W-H-A-T-E-V-E-R!

i dun really want to care anything nw...
oh....or maybe u dun like me because u think tt i'm very...
hmmm....wad's the word??
K-P-O?!
W-H-A-T-E-V-ER!!!!!!

ok...today is really nt a gd day to me...AT ALL...
maybe to some body else too...
DALALALALA...
BLEH!

counting down to.....58days...=)
at least there's something gd that i know will happen..

maybe it's time to really forget the past..and try to accept ppl that u cant accept...

Peilin

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